CNY confession

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR~~~~

after been through all the shits and tears, it is another new year..another joyous day, although not really because im down with fever, flu and cough...god know how torturous it is to not able to eat all the food presented on the table and drink all the drinks you can....even worse, my jiu-mu is making my favourite soup in the world (although i still love my mom's soup but she can never make this soup) and jiu-mu even realized im not really drinking it a lot like i used to because im sick .... T.T

but this is not the point...actually this is the day where actually a lot people will popped out and send me message or even make a time to meet..as usual, everyone is busy with their life and gangs dont always meet up. even if they do, im not part of them. im just one of those when they feel the environment is good enough to ask me to join, then only they will ask. and normally i dont join because big group of people makes me uncomfortable..



and all of sudden, i got a CNY wish from a friend, to which i replied with a thanks and i asked how is she doing. and she just have to ask me a question that i almost never have a 'yes' as an answer. except for that once, which is years ago. and she confessed to me that she is scared. oh no, im the one who said im scared first. LOL.. it began like this. she asked me do i have bfie now and i said no, because im not looking for one. she got curious and asked me why. as usual, my answer would be im scared to have one. dont ask me why because i dont know, i just do. uncertainty and me doesnt goes along. and still she asked but i couldnt answer. til now, i havent reply her..(she so gonna kill me)

then i asked her, how about her..she answered me the same like i did. "no" but she continued with " and im scared. im getting old and im still single"


which make me thinks for a long long time...am i really getting old.. for god's sake im 24..i dont feel old.really !! to certain extend..(well, i do want to get married at 25, but i guess it is impossible by now) but whats makes me thinks more is 'loneliness is really that scary huh???"

im actually shocked by her confessions. for some reason. it seems like everyone is scared of being alone and being single annoyed them...it does annoyed me sometimes but im not doing anything to make it better. im not going out, im not meeting anybody new.. im just being me, AGAIN...to the extend, i think im giving up.

there is so much question on it...