black-hole

*skip this if you dont want to read something emo*

why do i keep has this feeling that im fallen into a big black hole and that i will never EVER get out from?????
i need to get out from here......

recently there are people that keep saying that im being ungrateful....
trust me.
ever since i came back from Spain, i know how to count my blessings..
and i know im blessed...
for something that i dont deserved..
but there is something that you wanted to do in your life
for whatever that you can trade with, you will right?
thats me
there are things that i wanted to do.
and im willing to trade in spain, taiwan or even my phone..

it is something that have keep me going for all this while..
i dont want to give it up.
not yet..
but they said im being ungrateful.
maybe i am.
but is it wrong??/

i dont like them showing off with my things..
they keep goin on and on about the lawyer thingy
even they bought me a new car.
but i dont want
because im selfish enough to think that i can do something i like
after i got that degree for them
but im too naive right
believing that they will just let me do something i want for just awhile..
but no
fuck.
i dont want talk about it.
i just want to go to deep slumberland with this tears..
no one understands it anyway.
no one is listening though
im in this deep world, alone..