what a life~

im tired tryin to hold on..tryin to fight the urge of bursting..
the whole night i was fighting the tears..unwilling to let it flow..doesnt need an evidence to proof that im weak..

but it was too much...i hated this feelings..the need to cry, the need of comfort..whenever i felt this, all the past, all the memories, all the things that i have, it will all come back uninvited.. they have no shame breaking my thoughts, only to make things worse to me...

in the end, it was only me left to stop the tears..it was only that could comfort myself, to tell myself it was all just another test..to make thing worst, my mind wonders on its own..back to when all that left was memories..til when i have to go through all this??

tired of being weakling, tired of trying to be strong all the time, tired of being someone that im not, tired of being who i am.....