izzit a heartbreak??

i duno..
i was just having fun, coming back from dinner with Vic and 2 of his friends..
then i called up huiling since she wanted to start revision early for this Wed's paper so i picked her up and go McD..(as usual)..i even ask Vic to come there again for supper..he treated me dinner so i treated him a Big Mac set...

til reached home..after chatting.i heard something about him..and sadly, it brings some kind of feelings to me..not a pleasant one,definitely...

credits to : *

but it does not feel as much as when i broke up..and im wondering is this called heartbroken??(a different one from the one you suffered from heartbreak)(idk, im not sober) or heartbroken only happen when you are breaking with someone? i don't know..everything is blur now..im blur as to the definition and im blur because im full of emotions now...happy+ overwhelmed+ sad(from an earlier thing) + 'i duno what'(this is just now..i took some time to think and to cool off)....

credits : *

i don't even know why i feel so..i mean there is nothing between us..ok there is something but only from me..him, well him, just being him...someone said this "there would not be a clap unless two palms are clapping together" and of course being a fool in love im the only one clapping..and yet i told myself 'quit it' and i THOUGHT i did...i think i failed..miserably since this unknown feeling is here to proved me wrong..

credit : *

and i feels so wrong...how can part of me still yearns for another person and this part here feels for another?? what is this?? someone said told me just now "nice says loyal, mean says stubborn and not letting go"...and like i question it before, how can i let go when it is all i want and all that i need???

(deep breath, cool down. i already coolen down.this is news is way just now) well, he is the wrong guy..keep telling yourself that..he can comes and go..he played his part and his part is not to stay til the end of season. the problem was not him, there was never anything between us. only i was the one that unwillingly, unconsciously displayed it on my forehead (thank you, face-expression) and somehow things went complicated for me..

credits : *

argh, i gotta pay more attention to myself..i think i gotten myself into hot water..i went wok&pan that day and i was staring at the "50%" sign across the shop..and god's know what is the shop that im staring at at... hint:tribe@klan (im not sure..im only sure of the business there)..i got so much distraction from my path and so much temptation...

credits : *

and im not denying that i'm tempted, and i shall emphasized the word 'VERY' to smoke..i have no idea where the idea come from but definitely my brain is saying "if it can make people feels good, why not?? having too much to handle " but my soul is not going down without a fight..

ps: class postponed to 12..guess i can have some sleep first...