so yesterday~

well here im back in Malacca after 1 week and after my 2 weeks holiday ended...just like that..
and tomorrow i'll be starting my epsilon year, my final year, 4th year of my degree programme here in MMU...

no words can describe what i'm feeling right here..it feel like a person about to die..you know what i mean, those scene playing back right in front of my eyes and in the back of my brain...

everything seems so yesterday...everything is so clear right in my mind..almost all significant words spoken, everything meaningful action, every laugh and tears..vividly flowing back to me..how i joined SAM in INTI with marianne, tau lee and victor they all..how i learned to take train for the first time and how i decided to change course to ADP to take psychology and yet unsuccessful..tragically and ironically i ended here in MMU...

first day here, right before i entered the class i already make a new friend named Peak Hwa..i used to have trouble pronouncing her name so i ended up calling her cathleen..now i just called her xiao hwa..next i met Lynn, my ex STS classmate..and of course Kalyani..i still remember the philosophy lecturer used to refer us as tofu and something something, obviously racial thing since me and xiao hwa are the tofus..then minyi joined us..

6 girls, me, minyi, celine, xiao hui, xiao hwa and shieh mei someway somehow ended as a group for drama..during that period, our bond were so great that we did practically most of the thing together except sleeping and bathing..i did the sleeping with minyi.sleep in same room..she is my room mate..til last year when i decided to move out and get a room of my own..

anyway, we always go around in my avanza and i dunno what happen that 6 people splitted and become two team of gals..i stuck in two group because im more close to xiao hui but then the other group was my housemate..so i tried really hard to please both side..but as always i failed..then i get to know huiling..me and her and xiao hui spend more time together having fun and attending class..

then shibian 1..oopps i left out chew yee..she ar?? she is xiao hwa's housemate's coursemate..complicated?? yeah, somehow i clicked with her..i spent time talking to her, by the pool side in ixora..romantic eh? totally not when you have some jerk throwing things from upstairs just for fun...[damn you for throwing things]..and i left out kar lai.i met her during shibian 1..queer combination..afterall we did have some connection and the rest no need to said..she helped me alot during my hard time..

then shibian 2..after 1 year, it ended then my training..1 period of months that seems not moving to me..i thought i would not survived through it..but God is so merciful to me..and i make it through, and through semester 3 as well.. and here i am safe and sound for epsilon semester 1..this year really gotta work hard..god not gonna help me that much anymore..

seriously after all that i have been through, none of it escaped my memories..doesnt seem like 4 years have passed to me..seems only a few blink of eyes..but someone told me before, 4 years can passed just like that..and now i choose to believe that but not in his context..his 4 years are the years with his girlfriend..

4 years..how many another 4 years that i can still go through..how many memories that i can still gained in another 4 years..will the 4 years replaced this 4 years?? will the joy and tears replaced those that have spilled this 4 years?? no definite answer...only option is to go through it with no regret..did i regret the past 4 years that i have lived?? yes and no for im not perfect human with no flaws..there are things i want to erase and there are things that im selfishly wanna kept..

happy 5th MMU's life...