damn those gen...

f***,f***...
i have no idea why im such a weakling*blame those damn gen that make me a female*..
damn those tears..
even the hottest water from the heater could not stop them from flowing...
i really wanna go home..

mom called juz now..said they coming up on mlc on sun so meaning no chance of going back this week again..plus exam on tomorrow night..*stupid BPI midterm*then while talking to her, all of the sudden the tears start comin down..she thought im being rude me not replying her but i was trying hard not to let her hear me sobbing at the end of the line..

then i juz said bye without really saying anything else..get my shower to wash off those tears but i failed...then i call her back asking what time she going back tomorrow because dad coming for check up tomorrow..i wanna follow them go back but they said they cant wait for me..my tears flowed even more..*curse those sensitive part*then she ask me 'why' and i cant even reply..and i guess she heard me crying..she start asking why and said if i wan go back,just come...

shit..i make her worry again..i hate being in this state..but i have no idea why..juz now during dinner and when rushing assignment i was 100% fine but once i reach my room and heard her voice, i become like this...this weak state of mine was hard to get used to..i wasnt who i used to be..why why why??im getting weaker and weaker....

last minute assignment, last minute midterm study, not sleeping, not eating well,not enough sleep*it is different from not sleeping* everything...

im officially insane....